A client once tried to explain lists to me and how important they were in attracting the right man. “You have to list every single trait that’s important to you, including things you want and don’t want.” While I appreciated her thorough explanation of how these in depth lists were supposed to work and why every single woman between the age of 13 and 80 is making them, I had to inform her that these lists were entirely unnecessary.
These days women are encouraged to make a list of all the attractive traits they want in their future partner. The lists feature qualities ranging from honesty, good job, good looks, to the odder traits such as “doesn’t make weird sounds while chewing during dinner.” But there are three key points of attraction that are fairly universal for all women.
The number one point of attraction for women is commitment. When a man makes a commitment to a partner it comes from the divine within him and overrides his baser instincts. Commitment also encompasses several other traits that women often include at the top of their lists such as honesty, politeness, compassion, ect. Commitment may not seem like a major quality to be considered number one. But consider the example of commitment from the movie, The Vow. It is no coincidence that this movie was so popular. It illustrates an excellent example of unconditional love and commitment. Even when the main female protagonist lost her memory and forgot her husband he stayed devoted to her. So how does commitment cover so many other qualities such as honesty? Because when a man makes a commitment to his partner he will do whatever it takes to make the relationship works including being honest, polite, compassionate, and other qualities women find desirable in a man they wish to spend their life with.
The second point of attraction women look for in men is passion for his life purpose or career. In our society we often mistake this as a man having a lot of money and pricey possessions. When we look deeper we find that it is the passion and zeal for his life purpose that is truly attractive. A man can have a lot of money but the allure of that is not lasting if he lacks passion for his career or is operating from a place of greed or merely doing a job for the sake of security. However, if a man is following his Dharma, that love and passion spills over into other aspects of his life. He is also able to attract a partner who aligns with his life purpose. When two individuals compliment each other’s life purpose they are able to encourage the other to strive higher. This creates such a positive environment for the couple that the relationships remains energized because both individuals are seeking their bliss together.
The third point of attraction women desire in a man is a sense of humor. Women often list a sense of humor as a quality they desire in their partner. If this is so, then why are there single comedians? The sense of humor that is attractive is one that doesn’t stem from cynicism or sarcasm Instead this sense of humor comes from a man’s inner joy and his ability to not take anything too seriously. Ladies, how many times have you been on a date with a guy and there comes a point in the conversation where the guy takes something so seriously or makes a cynical remark that it literally kills the mood of the date? On the opposite spectrum, can you remember a time when you shared a moment of impromptu humor with another that made you laugh until your sides hurt? Do you remember how the memory of that moment stayed with you for years and always made you smile to recall? Humor cannot come unless you are in touch with the bliss within you.
Yoga and Love Summary:
- Commitment (satya)
- Doing what you love (dharma)
- Being cheerful at all times (santosha)
"It is about learning to love from the inside out. Yes a big part of the book is about Yoga, but the core message of it , is learning to and how to love yourself on the inside. It emphasizes so much on focusing on yourself, that is such a refreshing perspective on relationships.” Paulina D, San Diego, CA
"The core message of the book is before you unite with someone try to unite with yourself. It is learning about yourself, finding yourself and then if you choose to you can find love on the outside . The book gives ways to do just that in simple step by step way.” 
"Yoga is a life long process and the goal of life is self exploration. The book inspires me to make myself whole, integrated, to feel complete unto myself. Once I do that , I will attract a holistic, integrated person who is a totality of himself, which is how a relationship is supposed to be.” 
"Yoga is love, love is Yoga. It is not a relationship book, it is not just a love book, it is a lifestyle book. It is educational, informative, a message that everybody can apply. It teaches you how to be a better person, so that you don’t just find the love of your life but learn to have better relationships with everyone.” 