I heard a wise monk once tell the story of an ambitious young man who had heard about precious gold nuggets lying on a shore. This young man sought out the wise old man who knew the exact location of the gold, and asked, “Sir, is it true there is a shore by the sea that is full of gold nuggets?” “Yes,” replied the wise man. “But I must warn you: You are allowed to take only one gold stone, and it takes a great deal of patience to find one amongst the millions of shiny stones that look like gold at first sight. The only way to tell the difference is to pick each stone up and look closely.”
The young man declared he had “all the patience in the world” to go through the stones to find just the right one. And once he learned the location of the gold from the wise old man, the excited young man started his search early the very next morning.
As the young man stood on the beach, he spied millions of pebbles glittering like gold. He began to pick up stone after stone, carefully examining each before recognizing that each was just an ordinary stone. As the days went by, the young man’s frustration and pain grew. He became a master at picking up a pebble and tossing it away into the ocean in one clean, experienced, speedy move.
One day, he tossed a pebble into the sea, only to realize the second it left his hand that it was the long-sought-after gold stone! Too late! His habit of picking, examining, and chucking the stone away had become such a strong ‘bad’ habit that he overlooked (and missed out on) the precious gold stone. The young man sadly departed, exhausted from having spent so much energy looking for the gold.
Have you thrown away your gold nugget?
A modern approach to relationships
” Wonder of wonders, boy meets cute girl, girl swept off her feet, magic happens, emotional chemistry, dating, honeymoon period, physical intimacy, relationship, boredom, painful breakup, cycle ends to start all over again. This cyclical pattern of emotional highs and lows, pleasure and pain is so prevalent that it has lead to a divorce rate in the U.S of 50% (BTW this statistic does not include couples who are mentally divorced). What is more concerning is the subconscious acceptance that this is somehow ok in society, or is it because we have gotten emotionally numb because it happens all around us and much too often?
If you reacted emotionally to every divorce or breakup of your friends and family, you would be emotionally drained sooner than you can say Timbuktu. I call this cyclical approach to relationships an outside-in approach where attraction starts from purely just good looks and becomes emotional connection until both the physical and emotional highs wear off and you have to deal with the personality, which is not so high anymore. Interestingly humans are designed in such a way that, except in extreme cases, we are all reflections of each other. If there is something bothering us about our spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend or a situation there is a corresponding area in our own psyche which is weak or has room for improvement. The person outside merely reflects that side of you which may not be so pleasant to look at for yourself. This weakness is projected back into the relationship as an outside “thing” or “the other person is responsible sentiment” creating more and more negative energy and karma resulting in very painful breakups and divorces. Are we to accept this constant Yo-Yo as the standard for relationships or is there a better option?”
Yes there is a better and beautiful approach to relationships, the way it was meant to be! The alternative approach is a Yoga based approach to relationships. Some people wonder, do we need to get into a certain pose to attract an ideal relationship? No, the real meaning of the word Yoga is to become one, to remain in the moment free of all limitations and most importantly: to dissolve the restless mind in love. In a romantic sense, Yoga can be called as a tool that helps two people in love to become one. The physical aspect of stretching called Hatha Yoga is but a small component of the overall philosophy of Yoga, a preparation of the body to explore the potentiality of your spirit. Yoga at its core aims to transform an individual at the physical, mental and spiritual levels through certain powerful love meditation techniques, emotional healing techniques, diet changes, stretching exercises to express our awesome pure potentiality.
The concept of a Yoga approach to relationships stands on a single powerful maxim: to Know thyself! Knowing thyself has many facets to it according to the refinement of your consciousness. From a relationship point of view, there is an instinctive desire in humans for love, to connect, to expand your heart, for companionship, to merge with someone why? Because Yoga says, beneath your at times faulty idea of self is a blissful being made of love that constantly seeks to merge with love (like seeks like). This outer desire for love can manifest as a relationship only if there is a corresponding deep commitment for self exploration, self discovery, a willingness to look within to first form a relationship with yourself, to love yourself, to connect with yourself. Once you make that effort, the Universe does the rest! You will have the opportunity to patiently pick the gold nugget and give it the respect it deserves.
"It is about learning to love from the inside out. Yes a big part of the book is about Yoga, but the core message of it , is learning to and how to love yourself on the inside. It emphasizes so much on focusing on yourself, that is such a refreshing perspective on relationships.” Paulina D, San Diego, CA
"The core message of the book is before you unite with someone try to unite with yourself. It is learning about yourself, finding yourself and then if you choose to you can find love on the outside . The book gives ways to do just that in simple step by step way.” 
"Yoga is a life long process and the goal of life is self exploration. The book inspires me to make myself whole, integrated, to feel complete unto myself. Once I do that , I will attract a holistic, integrated person who is a totality of himself, which is how a relationship is supposed to be.” 
"Yoga is love, love is Yoga. It is not a relationship book, it is not just a love book, it is a lifestyle book. It is educational, informative, a message that everybody can apply. It teaches you how to be a better person, so that you don’t just find the love of your life but learn to have better relationships with everyone.” 